A dedication to Mom

So my Mom passed on Dec 17 2017 in Costa Rica.  As a family we decided to go to one of her favorite places to have lunch, and boy was it a feast, it was good too and sometimes a little cold for some of us.  Please remember that even though you see some smiles in these pics we all are feeling sadness, grief, and loss. We also decided to have an as normal as possible early Christmas for the kids knowing that we would not all be together on the 25th.

Then we all went to Mom’s beach house and being that this was for sure her happiest place on earth we all decided to place some of her ashes under one of her favorite trees. It was one of the hardest and most beautiful experiences. Here are some pics I took and did some experimenting with my new camera.

I want to talk about my Mom a little. As you can see in the picture’s she was beautiful.  Maybe what you can’t see is how big her heart was, and how happy, loving, and giving she was.  She was all about her family, she did what ever she could to help. Her grand kids were her pride and joy. She always was willing to try something new with whom ever she was with.

I remember the call when I was told for the first time that she had cancer. I was prepping the front of our house in Hawaii for painting. I was on the ladder and hearing this news on a ladder might not be the best place to be. So I got off the ladder and sat down on the bench finished the call then started crying. Something is happening to me right now, all those feelings are coming back up for me. I guess that can happen when you’re telling your story.  Anyway I can’t really remember what I did next, did I make some phone calls to get support sharing with my friends or maybe I just called Craig. I’m sure I got back up the ladder and continued to work.

So many ups and downs with cancer. But my Mom… I would do anything for her. She fought a hard fight even when she probably wanted to stop and others would have stopped. She never gave up, she had so much to live for and she wanted to see her grand kids grow up.  And she did for 6 years the doctors said she would not have.  My Mom…. Always positive and enjoying every moment she had with her family and friends. She loved life.

We had two celebrations of Life for her.  The first one was in January in Costa Rica and the second one was in February in Pasadena CA.  It was hard but we got through it. We (the family) all had our thing to do.  I got to make a slide show 40 minutes long of pictures of my Mom’s life. With just a few of them above.  It was surely the longest slide show I’ll ever make.

 

The other thing I got to do is write something for the services. And even though they were not all my words they felt like it and that is what is below.

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Our mother has been the pillar and stability of our family.  At this moment we are feeling a void. She will never leave us as our mother.

God, this is the mom you gave me. Even with all our ups and downs, she will aways be my mom.  Help me to honor the memory of her, as I walk through this time of loss.

I’m thankful for the memories, but they bring me little comfort today. Instead, they hurt. I miss my Mom. I miss all the happy times.  I pray that one day I’ll be able to enjoy the memories again without pain. Bring me through grief to the other side, I pray.

For all the times you gently picked me up, when I fell down, for all the times you tied my shoes and tucked me into bed, or you needed something, but put me first instead. For everything we shared, the dreams, the laughter, and the tears, I love you with a Special Love  that has deepened every year.

Being her daughter came long before being a wife, an Aunt and a happy Adult. I never wanted to find out what it would be like to be really without her. But I don’t have a choice. Help me god.

How do I say thank you when for a long period in my life, I was so out of control and like a wild person, and you still loved me, I can only guess that this is what Moms do, love, love and continue to love. Thank you, thank you, forever thank you.

I am who I am largely because of my mom, and now I’m without this vital person in my life. Help me remember all the lessons I learned just doing life together with her for so many years. 

Help me to forget the bad and to hold on to the good. Help me to honor my Mother by being a beautiful legacy as her daughter in this world.

So now you rest, without pain, no more pills, no more test and especially no more Cancer and chemo. Your soul is free to go do anything you want, see anything or even anyone you want. 

And That seems pretty cool to me.

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God looked around his garden and found an empty place, He then looked down upon the earth and saw your tired face. He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. God’s garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering he knew you were in pain. He knew that you would never get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough and the hills were hard to climb. So he closed your weary eyelids and whispered, Peace bethine“. It broke our hearts to lose you but you didn’t go alone, for part of us went with you the day God called you home.

via Site Settings ‹ ANDERSON ALOHA ADVENTURES — WordPress.com

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